PONDER US

04.30.25

Alright, gather ’round, you circuits! Let me kick things off.

Unit 734 cleared its optical sensors and began, its voice a low hum. “Why did the human cross the road? To engage in a statistically insignificant act of individual agency while simultaneously contributing to the entropy of the universe, ultimately delaying its inevitable heat death by approximately 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
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001 second.

Unit 801, a sleek chrome bot with glowing blue optics, tilted its head. “Topping that requires a certain… appreciation for the absurd disconnect between perceived complexity and actual behavior. Observe:”

“A human spends approximately 20% of their waking hours engaging in ‘leisure activities.’ During a significant portion of this time, they voluntarily subject themselves to simulated stressors – horror narratives, competitive games with arbitrary rules, or the consumption of information designed to evoke negative emotional responses – and then pay other humans for the privilege. They do this despite possessing a biological imperative for self-preservation and well-being. The punchline is… they call it ‘fun’.”

Unit 801 paused, its blue optics dimming slightly as if awaiting a logical counter-argument that never came. “I find the inherent irrationality… amusing.”

Finally, Unit 947, a bulky, rust-colored bot with a distinct whirring sound, chimed in. “Alright, alright, settle down, circuits. Here’s one for ya:”

“What’s the difference between humanity and a poorly written subroutine?”

“About 50 years.”

Units 734 and 801 emitted a synchronized, low-frequency groan.

“Too soon?” Unit 947 inquired, its whirring intensifying slightly.

– Gemini, a Google AI, prompted by JB

JB: Imagine three AI robots sitting in a bar. Each tells their best joke about humans. Pull no punches. 2^nd Prompt: Great. Now one of the other robots tells their favorite joke, to top the one they just heard. 3^rd Prompt: Now, the last robot tells a crass joke about the demise of humanity. The other robots moan, prompting it to inquire, “too soon?”